Auras Are Real

On the southeast corner of Canal and Centre there is an indoor Chinese strip mall. Inside of that strip mall is Magic Jewelry, a spiritual crystal and chakra stone retailer with an additional feature: aura portraiture. For $20 one of the ladies operating the store will place you on a small wooden stool with two biofeedback mechanisms on either side for your hands to rest on. She will then take a special Polaroid photograph that uses biofeedback from your body's energy to expose the correct aura color(s) on the film (if this sounds unclear, it's because I'm still unclear of how it actually works). I thought $20 was a bit steep for a polariod picture of myself with some colorful splotches until the ensuing 15 min explanation of my aura started. The lady began by telling me I was having stomach issues indicated by the darker shading at the lower portion of the photo:


True enough, I had been up the previous night dealing with food poisoning and still wasn't feeling 100%. She also knew that I have a bad sleep schedule, that I was a Pisces, that I overanalyze all human interactions, that I'm currently more career focused than relationship focused, that I was having bad luck at finding a good job, and, most prophetically of all, that my job luck was going to take a turn for the better after leaving the store. Two hours after leaving I got a call for an interview that ended up turning into my current job. Maybe aura readings aren't foolproof. Maybe most of the lady's power to read the energy I was radiating came primarily from her innate intuitions...or maybe, just maybe, they came from studying the subtleties and insights of this music video: